Sunday, June 4, 2006

a kind letter in rough waters

Dear Sky,
Because you choose to bare your inner life on Pirate Papa, I, who love you more than you know, am writing to tell you…

Your loneliness, your failing relationship, your anger toward the status quo will eventually harden into a heart of bitterness and despair.

Do you want to have a successful relationship with Stephanie? Make a commitment and keep it. You seem to be committed to many aspects of your life… living an independent life style, setting an example of responsibility toward the environment, writing, operating your store, and caring for your daughters. But when you speak of your relationship with the most important person in your life your attitude seems to be fatalistic and out of control.

You will never be able to give you daughters the hope and security they require to become successful confident women if they see the man in their life show so little commitment to the most important relationship they will ever need.

You and Stephanie have gone down a path by deciding to become parents. Get a plan
that will result in a successful effort. The areas in which you are failing are directly related to unwillingness to communicate and basing your bond to each other on feelings.

Your bond must be based on commitment and trust. This bond is developed in the Spirit. The Living Spirit Who will counsel, forgive and comfort. The Living Spirit to whom you and Stephanie can make a vow and become accountable. With commitment and guidance your relationship can be joyful and worth the effort.

Deciding to sleep apart is not going to bring you together. All of the areas to which you are now committed are dust and stuff compared to the relationships you have the opportunity to build for a lifetime. Give your relationships the value they deserve.

I am writing to you from experience. When you were 2 years old, my daughter, XXXXXXX, died in an accident. The divorce rate for couples with dead children is 85%. We were healed of our black despair after three years of horrible suffering and damage to our relationship. We were made new by the Holy Spirit of the Living God.

The Spirit can make you new. Your heart can be open and joyful. Do not think I am writing to you about religion or Religion. Do not think that I am judging the life you have chosen or the commitments you have made. I am writing because I read of your loneliness and want you to know that I care.

We are praying for you, Stephanie, Lyli and Scarleht to find peace and hope.

With Agape Love,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have spoken these very words myself, but to see them
heralded in sombody else's print makes them no less
applicable. We are all constantly in conflict with ourselves
as to whether or not to honor the commitments we have made
to ourselves and others, but some are better at others at
rationalizing bad choices and deflecting responsibility and
displacing blame. No doubt are patterns at work here,
dependence on an enabling outsider doesnt end with distance
from them, it ends with a choice to honor oneself enough to
choose a righteous path at every opportunity. In
relationships of great consequence, those with children
involved, it is even more important for both parents to
choose actions based in love and honor and commitment to
their children despite negative feelings. The realization,
that is the making real, of this concept by both parents is
perhaps the only way one can create a happy and healthy
environment for their children.