Friday, February 3, 2006

Most of our friends don't have babies and don't relate to Dylan very warmly.

I remember that before Dylan was born I was easily annoyed by the demands of friends' babies. I can see how couples with babies tend to socialize with each other almost exclusively. Still, I don't want to give up my relationships with friends who don't have kids. We'll have to work something out.

Being with Dylan gives me the chance to express my intuitive, feminine, yin self. It's easy for a man to always be in situations that call for aggressive, rational, manipulative perspectives and skills. With Dylan I move out of that more completely than I ever have before. The obvious importance of these new skills in relating to Dylan helps me respect and value them as they develop.

All in all, I now enjoy most of the time I spend with Dylan - taking care fo him, playing with him, watching him change and grow. He is one of the most important parts of my life. There are other important parts - my relationship with Susan, my work, being with other people. I don't want to give them up for Dylan, or him for them. I look for the balance, remembering that there is as much total space in my life as I have energy to keep clear.

excerpted from fatherjournal, by david steinberg

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