wistful mists

rainy season engulfs us this morning, her robes sweeping us up in a light welcoming mist as if to say how sorrowful the summer months make her wet disposition dry. first fire of the fall today, girls cold upon waking. we wear socks and hats and warm clothes, huddle next to the heater in the bathroom to heat up extremeties before braving the living room to start a fire. soon it's off with the socks and hats and up with the sleeves and sweating and happy living room run around cuddle spins. Outside the sun peeks through Rain's robes for an instant, Scarleht notices and says hello. Lyli lies face down on the table, rump in the air, a cool blue mellow mood today for some reason or season.

I've been so busy with books and old friends I keep neglecting the old housework. Haven't cooked a decent meal for myself in over a week. I mean, we eat very well all the time but I haven't put any effort into it recently and I miss it. Living off my late-planted green tomatoes which I put in almost every dish these days.

Rob scares and excites me with tales of grad school masters in literature dreams in Berkeley. Tip of the iceberg and already I'm cold but happy for him. Wish I could go too. Life will change again whenever that happens. Back to the bookstore 1/3 to 1/2 the week I'd imagine, childcare, what-have-you. Wistful deep breaths. Don't think too far ahead. Think too far ahead. Turn around. Wistful deep breaths.

In the kitchen Lyli and Scarleht talk about kittens and water while dining on stir-fry with potato sausage. They eat constantly these days. If I don't get up and make a grip of food immediately I end up spending half the day running around feeding them. Maybe that's why I don't have any energy or desire to cook for myself. A strange symbiosis, surviving off my toddler's scraps.

As much as I love this place and this life I am always dreaming of those literal forks in proverbial roads and what would have happened if I'd taken the one more traveled by...

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