Thursday, August 24, 2006

girls still like me! so i guess I have to talk to them... shit.

I'm supposed to make logical step-by-step decisions and keep my emotions at bay, according to those lovely stars and the metaphysical wackoes who propagate such nonsense. I'm much more prone to believing in the magnetic pull of the planets and stars than I am in the psuedo-creative interpretations some old acid-heads are dishing out.

you are vastly more in tune than I, mayhaps that is one explanation for my attraction? the student's need to learn a lesson from the teacher, or perhaps another student? but aren't we both both? i blather.

i am wanting so much to be something i have not had time to be and i feel you bring it out in me, that him I have not had for years now, that angel and demon, saint and sinner. you juxtapose my assumptions against themselves and I grow the greater for it.

you are much more sexual and worldly than I at this stage in the game... you actively re-learning and remembering and living your dreams, me floundering with these thoughts of memories of who I used to be in beds across some muddled landscape.

I am glad that you are so free right now, to learn about yourself and forge a new path through your own private wilderness. I only hope that I am on your list of future loves and real family (of which my conception has radically evolved as of late).

but what if the more we learn about one another the less we like each other? not that we could possibly avoid getting to know each other, just theorizing on the pitfalls of bullshit, forgive, forget, move on.

i wonder what it is you see when you look at me, as I know you wonder the same about my stormy eyes. should we speak those lines of poetry embedded in our souls or leave them nameless, naked before this coming gale?

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